#Lies that bind us #Happy Women's Day #She for her

Yesterday was one of those memorable days to have received entrepreneur award. It’s not an easy journey. Probably that makes it more ardent.

What I presented and spoke had appreciations and on demand, I am bringing it to black and white.

March 8^th 2019, 3:30pm.

Since morning I have received more than 300 messages wishing “Happy Women’s Day”. 

Epitome of patience, tolerance, understanding, compromise, care, power, share, most beautiful, acceptance, sacrifice … innumerable number of adjectives. Flowers, chocolates, brilliantly designed posters… all gets exchanged. A day where gender-hood is honored and flattered immensely.

Rest of the year, what we receive is this – Good girls are found in every corner of the earth.  Put your wife’s picture as a screen saver, when in problem see it, you are confident enough to handle anything. Happiness isn’t everything, so get married.  A quite man is a thinking man, but a quite woman is usually mad.  😊

Including women, everyone laughs at that moment and things continue to be in its place. 

A real women’s day is -

-          A day where parents don’t distinguish sons and daughters as plus and minus

-          A day where she feels safe and doesn’t need to feel threatened of trafficking, infanticide or harassment

-          A day where no partiality exists for education

-          A day where marriage becomes free from dowry

-          A day where she need not have to ask for her percentage of reservation

-          A day where we need not have to strategically plan for diversity and inclusion.

Change is always slow, but that change should start from her.

How did we arrive here?  ‘It’s simple’. We believed in lies.  Yes! my friends, #lies that bind us.

Top three challenges of women have been – i) Restrictions from family ii) Struggle to retain societal pressure and prestige iii) Balancing expectations as she shoulders other responsibilities.

How did we condition ourselves is because of yet again three predominant traits – Guilt Feeling, Indecisiveness and Insecurity.

Think about it my friends – each of them are interrelated.

I would like to call upon each woman out here to think deeply on lies that has bound us

Societal Lies: Lies that society conditions us - despite all the newfound opportunity, the prevailing societal attitudes about what women are historically supposed to value still have a long way to go.

Your worth is based on your appearance. Your worth is based on gaining attention and approval from others, family before career, women are care takers, be passive, feel shy, coming home late night isnt permitted, girls should sit in a decent way, working moms exist not working dads, culture, art, music is girls’ world, if guests come home – girls are expected to serve. The list continues.

Homespun Lies:  Lies/pressure/compulsions/expectations - your immediate family, relatives, friends exert on you

Women is the wheel of the family, you should adjust, you will not get everything you desire, marriage is happiness; singledom is not, you can’t handle life on your own, skinny is healthy, fairer is beautiful, value education is mother’s responsibility… oh! It seems to be a bottomless pit.

Self lies: Strong beliefs which are eventually lies that has conceived in ourselves or by your past experiences.

I am an obliged one and I need to execute my duty in line with expectations from others. I don’t look good in fancy & modern dresses, being fat is a curse, how can I have my personal time and space when I have a family??? – Self and intimate lies of ourselves are much more dangerous to uproot.

Well, we live & grow with these lies.  To put it into a nutshell, I emphasized on queen bee syndrome and supporting each other becomes vital to get out of this vicious circle.

We know lies deceives, lies are expensive, lies conditions our mind, lies kills our courage and confidence.

I heartily wish you all that - let all lies die that has conditioned your mind. Support oneself and others in your fraternity. Let SHE stand for HER.

Let all lies die that binds us. Wish you all a very happy women’s day.

That was the snippet shared with audience.

Back home this early morning, March 9^th 2019, I saw a message from my current HR360 Whatsapp group asking what time is the session today.

It was 6:10am, and I replied – I am just entering Bangalore. Let’s meet at 3pm.

Coincidentally, two replies came back to back – a hour later saying – Mam’, please relax today, and take the session tomorrow.  😊

An earnest warm smile filled my face feeling #sheforher.

Change has started. Even if it is slow, let the day come.  Happy women’s day. 

Walking through Bangalore’s Roads

Amidst of a buzzing day, one of my friend had called in to seek some info, and casually asked, where am I? I said currently I am at JP Nagar, Jayaprakash Narayan Nagar.

He was happy to hear that, and said he didn’t know who was JP. I said, he is a Bharat Ratna popularly called as Loknayak. And this area is named after him. Just as a cheery exchange, I asked what does RT Nagar, BTM Layout, HSR Layout stand for?

This was the inception of this snippet to introduce Bengaluru’s expanse and its nomenclature with areas, roads and localities – its significance with its name and the relic behind it.

Bangalore holds its history with Gangas, Cholas, Hoysalas, Vijayanagar, Wodeyers and predominantly recognizes with Kempegowda’s establishment of fort here during early 16^th century. Bendakaaluru became Bangalore during British Raj and officially called ‘Bengaluru’ since 2006.

Being the 3^rd populous city in India, spread over 741sq.kms, it has more than hundred areas narrating its own story and carrying rich etymology behind it.

Walking through ‘Namma Bengaluru’s belt’ reveals lot of interesting facts. Here is a small attempt to connect etymology, history and recognize few unheard heroes and their work.

Mehkri (Not Mekhri) Circle: Named after a businessman Enayathulla Mehkri who levelled the rough climb from Hebbal tank spending his own money of 10,000 rupees which was big amount in 1930’s. This came to attention of Krishnaraja Wodeyer who attempted to payback the amount, but Mehkri denied to accept. The appreciation was expressed by naming the confluence in his name.

Hudson Circle: Located adjacent to Hudson Memorial Church, built in 1904 is named after a Canarese scholar and educationist Josiah Hudson who is appreciated to have started many schools at Bangalore region during early 1900’s.

Bhashyam Circle: Named after KT Bhashyam who was a congress leader, businessman and activist during freedom struggle attempted to unite around 30,000 mill workers during 1920’s.

Anandarao Circle: T Ananda Rao, Diwan of Mysore during 1909-1912 was an able administrator. He has laurels to have constructed reservoir for Shivanasamudra Power Station, laid construction stone for KRS Dam, and started economic forums and conferences during his period.

Rajajinagar:  Adored as Rajaji, C Rajagopalachari was a freedom fighter, lawyer, writer, historian and statesman. He was the first Indian born, last Governor General of India as India became republic in 1950. He was one of the first recipients of India's highest civilian award, the Bharat Ratna.

Sheshadripuram: Regarded as ‘Maker of Modern Bangalore’-  Sir. K Sheshadri Iyer, Diwan of Mysore from 1883-1900 was a great statesman. Shivanasamudra Hydroelectric project commencement, establishing KGF, Victoria Hospital, promoting science forums he has big hand in instituting IISc at Bangalore. 

RT Nagar – First Indian and a non-european recipient of Noble Prize in literature, Rabindranath Tagore leaves his mark in Indian history and we at Bangalore honor him with his name embedded into our geography.

Sadashivanagar: Named after great Kannada freedom fighter and philanthropist Karnad Sadashiva Rao.

Whitefield: Anglo Indian settlement during 1882-83 had a political reek where His Highness of Mysore Chamaraja Wodeyer donated a portion of this region to DS White, the then President of the Eurasian and Anglo-Indian Association. The neighborhood then got its moniker from White’s name for the settlement of Anglo Indians in the region.

Sunkadakatte: This is certainly an interesting name cradling a place where tax/toll was collected. ‘Sunka’ in Kannada means tax. Because it was located beside a lake which had a wide place to sit it held the name of ‘katte’. Sunkadakatte emerged combining two.

Nagarbhavi: Due to urbanization, things have changed it's attributes. Nagarbhavi is one neighborhood in Bangalore which was named because of the number of snakes’ present in the locality. As it was amidst of hillocks forming a kind of well structure, it positioned its name as Nagarbhavi.

Madiwala: Sounds amusing, current Madiwala was the outskirts of then Bangalore where washermen used to stay.  The term Madiwala means washer man in Kannada. Madiwala lake, one of the big waterbodies is nearly 300 years old and was mainly used by them for drinking purpose.

Malleshwaram, Banashankari, Basavanagudi, Gavipuram – few more gets its name because of its renowned temples in the region. BTM & HSR Layout is named for congregating its adjacent areas.

There are much more interesting facts to be shared. Shall be back soon for another walk. 

Fountainhead Series: Open & Closed Gates

It was Sunday afternoon, and I was into cleaning mode. A continuous honking started disrupting music that was on. The noise was heard evidently as the room is just above the pathway from basement leading to main road.

Honking is routine for most – helmets & headsets on or windows closed, it might not reach to an irritation level when on the move. How does it feel to hear someone honking continuously? It would annoy anybody after a point. I tried ignoring it for a minute or so, but when it continued – I could not resist peeping out.

It was a white sedan, around 5 feet away from the main gate, honking as if the entire energy in his body was concentrated in his hands. I saw the fuss for 30 more seconds and was a little irked because plausibly it would hardly take 15 seconds to pull the hand brake, get down, open the gate, and drive away.

Now he pulled his window panes and started shouting ‘Security, security ….’

The entire drama of honking and shouting went on for another 3 minutes. I could not hold back anymore – I put on my slippers and went down, by then the car just passed out of the gate. The poor security guy had come running all the way to just open the gate. I gave a cross look and said – “He could have opened it himself, what’s the big deal in it”. His straight-faced response was – “There are very few who think we are humans too. “

Honestly, I felt bad for both. How thoughtless & inconsiderate of the white sedan driver and how indifferent one behaves with people involved in what we term as menial jobs.

While I took the stairs back home – a thought passed by: How can you open the gate in front of you if you have your gates closed from within.

Fountainhead Series: "If they can’t manage vegetables, I wonder how will they manage their lives"

It was late night by 9:30pm and I was walking down to my place, there I saw a vegetable hand cart with tomatoes and few more fresh veggies.  Picked up and then pulled my cotton bag and held in front.

He saw my face and said – Wish everyone can get a bag like this, there is no need to use plastic covers.

I was taken a back from his statement and asked, you seem to be nature friendly person, and said don’t give plastic covers.

“We don’t want to give it, but people who come here need it, if I don’t give it, they will go to another place to buy, and my livelihood depends on everyday’s earning.

Hmmm. That’s a valid point, I said. Wish everyone has little bit of knowledge like you.

All I know is plastic does not mix with soil and animals eat it as well and it is harmful for us too after a point.  I don’t mind giving one plastic cover, there are people who will ask to put five varities in five different covers. They say they cannot go home and manage it. All five covers directly get into fridge as is, as they have no time to separate it.

If they can’t manage vegetables, I wonder how will they manage their lives.

His statements made me think while walking back home – his compassion towards nature, and his last statement left me pondering.

This is Mani – vegetable hand cart vendor. He can be seen little ahead of Katriguppe circle(BLR) near the curve on the left of the road as we head to Vidyapeeta circle. 

Fountainhead Series

As I change my abode…….

I am sitting here at this night fall, and looking at last nine years.

whats app made its sound and someone unknown pinged me ‘Sir g, will call you at 10am tomorrow morning’. Got a lead from packers and movers.

Nine years – I have no clue how did it pass. This warm abode has seen me grow, has given me company in every ups and downs of life. It has seen my happiness, glee and merriment.  

It has seen me being forlorn, dejected and doomed. It has seen me laughing over floor to lonely tears rolling down.     

It has sheltered me from all odds, given me that solitary confidence to have shielded from world insulating me to comfort.

I wish it had a life, as it has given me its company unconditionally…. all alive and incarnate. How I wish, it can come alive.

‘Prakruthi’ … that’s what I called it when I entered in. I fell in love with it the very first time when I came here and decided to be here. After that was a life changing experience. Life changed in every angle.

Pure sunlight enters in at dawn, be it in my living room or at kitchen – Sun rays peeps in and gives me that extra energy every morning and when I look at those rays coming in and touching my feet to face, as I open my door and windows… I wish ‘Good morning Rashmi’. (Rashmi – Sunrays).

Every evening – especially as we move close to full moon, it’s a bliss to sit back at kitchen … enjoying the cool breeze and see a full moon glow.

Rains are little messy, when its heavy, else sipping a cup of tea and watching rain is an experience with difference. My joy knows no bounds for few minutes while a soft music does its playing

Winter is super chill and when wind blows – I have couched inside my blanket with full sweater and socks until my knees.

There are umpteen number of days where I have fallen asleep after a tiring day back here at the same sofa and woke up for a cockcrow sounds and pigeons gutr-gutr sound at my windows which is so unlikely in a city like Bangalore. I still hear chirping sounds of birds every dawn and dusk at this place. I see eagles sitting on high buildings and on the top of the tree and have contemplated why?  I have witnessed some rare species of birds.

I see a complete concrete world growing from my kitchen and try counting number of water tanks, when I feel bored. I have got irritated for large crowd gathering and ear blasting music from temples all around my place on festive days and their anniversaries.

As night falls, everything falls so silent all of a sudden, that it makes me wonder is it the same bustling street that I see every morning. I hear honks and people speaking late night as they walk by and I am still working even if my clock ticks 2…3… and sometimes 4.

Rarely I light candles around Buddha kept at an elevation and put off all lights to watch him glow in my living room. And I ask… how can I get enlightened like you? Those silent moments absorb me to solitude. 

My birthdays have been super special all these nine years. I don’t think I can ever thank and give back even a morsel of that happiness my near and dear ones have bought to me. Starting from friends, colleagues, and now my students….they have made it special on those days being here and this abode has given them a place, made them feel comfortable and as they leave… they always make it a point to say… it feels so positive here.

Coincidentally I changed my laptop’s wall paper two days ago. It says ‘This too, shall pass”.  As I saw the following whatsapp message,  ‘when do you plan to move’…. An emotional feeling welled up. 

I was just thinking, how I wish I can also answer that question philosophically.

This is the place where I have disconnected to connect.     

This is the place I look shabby and enjoy it.

This is the place I have grown up to live

This is the place to have witnessed beginnings and endings.

Life moves on, and this place will witness more learning from now on, enhance people’s skills, absorb more aptitude and would shelter to give jobs to many. Discover flavours of psychology and more diversified personalities giving them life skills. It would explore and certify people to be much more enriched with management lessons making them thorough professionals.

With all that, it would make my dream come true, and nurture my nascent kingdom giving me wings to fly. 

One day,  Fly from abode….to heaven.