As I change my abode…….

I am sitting here at this night fall, and looking at last nine years.

whats app made its sound and someone unknown pinged me ‘Sir g, will call you at 10am tomorrow morning’. Got a lead from packers and movers.

Nine years – I have no clue how did it pass. This warm abode has seen me grow, has given me company in every ups and downs of life. It has seen my happiness, glee and merriment.  

It has seen me being forlorn, dejected and doomed. It has seen me laughing over floor to lonely tears rolling down.     

It has sheltered me from all odds, given me that solitary confidence to have shielded from world insulating me to comfort.

I wish it had a life, as it has given me its company unconditionally…. all alive and incarnate. How I wish, it can come alive.

‘Prakruthi’ … that’s what I called it when I entered in. I fell in love with it the very first time when I came here and decided to be here. After that was a life changing experience. Life changed in every angle.

Pure sunlight enters in at dawn, be it in my living room or at kitchen – Sun rays peeps in and gives me that extra energy every morning and when I look at those rays coming in and touching my feet to face, as I open my door and windows… I wish ‘Good morning Rashmi’. (Rashmi – Sunrays).

Every evening – especially as we move close to full moon, it’s a bliss to sit back at kitchen … enjoying the cool breeze and see a full moon glow.

Rains are little messy, when its heavy, else sipping a cup of tea and watching rain is an experience with difference. My joy knows no bounds for few minutes while a soft music does its playing

Winter is super chill and when wind blows – I have couched inside my blanket with full sweater and socks until my knees.

There are umpteen number of days where I have fallen asleep after a tiring day back here at the same sofa and woke up for a cockcrow sounds and pigeons gutr-gutr sound at my windows which is so unlikely in a city like Bangalore. I still hear chirping sounds of birds every dawn and dusk at this place. I see eagles sitting on high buildings and on the top of the tree and have contemplated why?  I have witnessed some rare species of birds.

I see a complete concrete world growing from my kitchen and try counting number of water tanks, when I feel bored. I have got irritated for large crowd gathering and ear blasting music from temples all around my place on festive days and their anniversaries.

As night falls, everything falls so silent all of a sudden, that it makes me wonder is it the same bustling street that I see every morning. I hear honks and people speaking late night as they walk by and I am still working even if my clock ticks 2…3… and sometimes 4.

Rarely I light candles around Buddha kept at an elevation and put off all lights to watch him glow in my living room. And I ask… how can I get enlightened like you? Those silent moments absorb me to solitude. 

My birthdays have been super special all these nine years. I don’t think I can ever thank and give back even a morsel of that happiness my near and dear ones have bought to me. Starting from friends, colleagues, and now my students….they have made it special on those days being here and this abode has given them a place, made them feel comfortable and as they leave… they always make it a point to say… it feels so positive here.

Coincidentally I changed my laptop’s wall paper two days ago. It says ‘This too, shall pass”.  As I saw the following whatsapp message,  ‘when do you plan to move’…. An emotional feeling welled up. 

I was just thinking, how I wish I can also answer that question philosophically.

This is the place where I have disconnected to connect.     

This is the place I look shabby and enjoy it.

This is the place I have grown up to live

This is the place to have witnessed beginnings and endings.

Life moves on, and this place will witness more learning from now on, enhance people’s skills, absorb more aptitude and would shelter to give jobs to many. Discover flavours of psychology and more diversified personalities giving them life skills. It would explore and certify people to be much more enriched with management lessons making them thorough professionals.

With all that, it would make my dream come true, and nurture my nascent kingdom giving me wings to fly. 

One day,  Fly from abode….to heaven.

Why Life Skills Still Aren’t Important to Indian Society?

What is mindfulness?

Shouldn’t we know how to regulate stress?

Won't confidence matter in life!

Shouldn't we understand the psychology of motivation for things we do!

Isn't thinking an important concept to be taught?

Isn't most of our misery around our behaviour, beliefs and relationships around us!

Isn't Self-acceptance and self-balance an important aspect of building ourselves.

Shouldn't we learn money management right from when we are adolescents.

Why are these skills aren’t important to Indian Society?

While there is a hue and cry on Artificial Intelligence across industry, what makes human as a 'human' is his behaviour, human characteristics such as critical and creative thinking, emotions, relationships, decision making skills, presentability, communication to the context, social skills, contemplation and many more.

More than anything, most important dynamic factor for all above is - human mind can perceive, imagine and enhance skills substantially and consistently with conscious effort.

But, why do we still feel that mental health isn’t a great challenge and problem sounds to be a problem when things are not as expected. Problem is a problem only when it hits places of concern such as academics, reputation, & social norms.

Majority of adults including working professionals and parents seal themselves from learning post graduation or during work life unless it is corporate sponsorship or credentials oriented. We don’t consider learning as an investment for life. Learning needs dedication, and as we grow older, learning and devoting time becomes a last priority and regrettably we cascade the same mentality to the generations down.

From a personal experience standpoint, I have had parents approaching me expecting instantaneous results – arrogance, social media addiction, stressed out, can’t concentrate, gets irritated easily, friend circle is bad, habits are getting worse etc.  But most importantly alarm rings aloud only when all these are affecting their academics, grades and CGPA’s. Rest all gets snoozed.  

Well, this truth extends as insecurity in leadership, inferiority complex in speaking up, lacks self-confidence and consistency, or finds too challenging to take decisions when it comes to working professionals.

Why Indian society is still ignorant about life skills, mental health, behavioural building, personality and habits and many more.

Reason#1: We still don’t believe that personality building needs training

Personality just gets built as how we up bring each individual. We do understand there are parameters around it, but seldom we think that it can be trained and want to invest on personality building which is an outcome of our psychology - mind, thinking and feeling-fundamental brick for overall being and identity. Beauty of this is – it just can start anytime. It only demands your time, perseverance, thought and conscious effort in implementing changes you want to instil.

Reason #2: We think we know it all

There is nothing to be learnt on how to regulate emotions – we know how it works. We never learnt any while we grew up and aren’t we good enough to be leading lives.

Of course! We are leading lives, but each generation carries its own challenges and today’s world needs much more hand holding, attention and guiding than any other. These subjects are much more complex and abstract and lies beyond advices and experience sharing.  Emotional Intelligence is a science which encompasses self-introspection, deep learning, step wise mentoring and transforming into a habit and habit becomes a behaviour.

Reason #3: We aren’t able to relate to the results instantaneously

With growth of instant age, expectation on moving things at a fast pace is demanding which also has influenced the way we connect and convey results. Instantaneous gratification or immediate outcomes aren’t practical in self-building process. Growth involves its own ratio and time and it is neither a destination to have arrived nor a rank to have accomplished. It’s for life. And life is a long process, we can learn at any juncture, but we use it for life long. That’s life skills.

Reason #4: We still don’t believe careers are made complementing our personality

We have many speaking on various other professions to be chosen, but none want to explore to be first in the list. Earning is important, but earning is just a by-product too. Various professions earn more as an individual excels. And being excellence demands motivation, passion & purpose. But, many of us are doomed out of this truth. We need careers explored, experimented, well placed, steady promotions, security and titles to flaunt around with onsite opportunities.   Intrinsic motivation, how satisfied & happy an individual is, takes a last seat. Probably this is the same reason why we have less than 35% engaged employees in various domains inhibiting us from being ourselves, loving what we do, and ascending with what we can really thrive for.

Reason #5: We still don’t believe in emotional intelligence

EI is a buzzword since more than a decade. I see EI for leaders, first time managers, leads, senior executives and specialists etc.  And the EI workshops are for 3 days to one week and we expect the world to change. How I wish EI could be taught and effectively implemented in a week.

We still lack basic awareness on what emotional intelligence can do for us. IQ is valued more than EQ. But the hard truth is – EQ holds all your keys. You can regulate any of your quotient if your EQ is in place.

Reason #6: We are unaware that relationships build on social skills and we can acquire conflict resolution skills

Relationships are an important part of our lives. Social skills and conflict resolution are never taught to us in any sense. We imbibe it observing others or we develop it on priorities and pressures. But, social intelligence is a beautiful life skill to embed and to connect ourselves with outer world.

Be it perception we build, living in real or virtual world, developing relationships across borders and all places we go, conflict is a part of life and how do we deal with it is more dealt on suggestions, advices, influences, oppressions or extortions. It does impact our peace of mind. But, we don’t value this piece because we are unacquainted with ourselves which extend itself for being ignorant about others presence and identity too.

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has a wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

That’s the state of our life skills awareness.